What to expect when you’re expecting unreasonable things

I haven’t blogged in a long time. It’s very hard to sit down and crap out my ideas. I’ll get about 500 words into an entry and I’ll just stop because the intro sucks or the information is not being conveyed clearly enough. You know what would be helpful? If I had taken any of my English teachers seriously and outlined any essay I’ve ever written instead of just writing them and then faking an outline based on what I already wrote if I had to turn in an outline.

So the topic I’m discussing today is unrealistic expectations. That’s a pretty broad topic actually, so to narrow it down, I’m gonna say that I’m talking about how you shouldn’t expect anything that goes against someone’s nature.

What does that mean and why am I talking about this?

I, like many people, have an Instagram account. I follow my friends. I follow sports teams and celebrities who I support or like. I also follow models and/or camwhores. The lines have really been blurred these days. Long gone are the days where the term camwhore was strictly reserved for girls who go on webcams and posed for guys for money. Now girls take near-naked pictures and videos of themselves and upload them for the world to see and all they get paid in is likes. I guess you can say the camwhore economy is also going through a recession.

So I decided to follow some of these models who are very good looking, and then it started pissing me off that they would fill my Instagram feed with so many pictures of themselves, very scantily clad. I started wondering “Don’t these girls do anything but take pictures of themselves in bikinis or underwear?”

Then I thought, that doesn’t make any sense. You followed these models because you like looking at pictures of them, but now you are unreasonably wondering why they keep posting pictures of themselves.

These girls got famous because guys (and girls) enjoy looking at pictures of them. So they give the people what they want and post more pictures of themselves. I’m not sure if I thought there would be a camwhore out there who posts international news updates about civil unrest in Brazil or if I expected a person who got a gazillion followers because of her cleavage to start posting pictures of the hottest new gadgets available. Either way, my expectations were inappropriate.

And people have unrealistic expectations in certain cases.

You wouldn’t go up to a dog and tell it to stop being so doggone doggy. It’s a dog. Das wat it do do.

But we can get into a relationship with a person who flirted non-stop with us and then we get angry when they still flirt with people they talk to.

I often wonder if you can be rich and powerful CEO without being a sleaze who looks for every possible way to crush the competition and to increase your company’s profit margins. Then I realize that these are inherent factors in such endeavors. You can’t be a huge success without crushing people in your way. You can’t crush people to get to where you are and maintain strong empathy, because you’d simply die of all your guilt.

Can you go from fat to buff without flexing your muscles and taking pictures of yourself all the time?

Can you receive attention from guys every day of your life and not use your looks to get guys to do things for you?

Can you trust a person who cheated on their significant other to get with you to not cheat on you?

Can you expect Jay-Z to keep putting out songs about his adventures in the hood when he’s now worth 500 million?

The answer to all these questions: 99% of the time, no.

So what do I look for? I look for the 1%. I look for the unexpected. I look for the walking contradictions.

Except for the cheating one. Don’t cheat on your boyfriend to get with me, even if you won’t cheat on me. I’m so not down for that.

I want to meet the attractive people who don’t use their good looks as their main drawing point.

I want to meet the geniuses out there who aren’t pretentious elitists.

I want to meet the super successful people out there who haven’t lost their humanity on their way to the top.

As for myself, I want to be an assertive, dominant mother fucker and I want to be a courteous, friendly person at the same time.

I want to be the most successful person you know, and I want to not sacrifice any part of myself to get there.

I want to wear nice clothes, drive nice cars, and own nice things, and not look down on anyone who doesn’t.

I set pretty unrealistic expectations for myself, in the hopes that I will someday reach some magical avatar state where I’m just perfect in every way. But I’ll stop setting unrealistic expectations for everyone I see around me.

Meatheads gonna meathead. Camwhores gonna camwhore. Cheaters gonna cheat. Haters gonna hate.

And when I meet those rare people who break the mold and give me a lil something unexpected, that’ll just be a little happy bonus, like finding a straight french fry in your box of curly fries.

One Comment

  1. Teal
    April 14, 2014

    Viet, you’ve hit it right on the head once again. I love reading your posts because they are such a breath of fresh air. But I will say that there are plenty of those people out there that break the mold, and that’s what makes life exciting- having those encounters when you least expect it. They are rare but when you find them they are such a treasure. I don’t lower my expectations, I’m just don’t waste my time with anyone else.

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