It’s not cute to call relationships cute

In college, I wrote a blog entry about how people shouldn’t judge other people’s relationships because you see so little of what actually goes on in a relationship. This was based on my own observation that no one really knew what went on in my relationship. And that’s good. Keep yo nose out my business. You can tell someone their relationship is bad till the cows come home, but it’s not gonna change a damn thing. Save your breath. I don’t like people critisizing other people’s relationships.

But other than that, what I really don’t like is when people say stuff like “omg you guys are so cute” or “you guys are the cutest couple ever!”. When I say people, I mean girls, because honestly, I’ve never seen a guy say anything like that. At least not a guy who’s interested in girls.

To pull a lil somethin from a part of my stand-up comedy set, girls find everything cute. Some reasonable, some not so reasonable. Cartoon fruits and vegetables? Cute. Fluffy animals? Cute. Babies? Sometimes cute. These are things that guys and girls should both agree are cute. I learned in my bio classes that there’s an instinct to take care of things that trigger our “cute” sensors which is why babies are generally cute. (baby animals as well). Designers know what looks cute and they also design certain characters to look “cute” to market towards people. What I’m saying is, ain’t no one don’t find a puppy cute.

Then there are some strange things that girls find cute. Miniature versions of things. A tiny tea set. A tiny rice cooker. A tiny pan. These are cute to girls. Guys do not know why. Penises do not fall under this category by the way. A girl’s ugly friends are cute. (to them, not to guys). 90% of the time I’m introduced to a girl’s friend who she considers “cute”, she ain’t. Outfits are cute. Ever look at a girl’s instagram where she posts a lot of selfies? So many comments from the girl’s friends on how they like her outfit or how good she looks. Ever look at a guy’s instagram where he posts a lot of selfies and see another guy say “ay bruh lovin that jacket. you look fresh today”. Me neither.

Now finding certain outfits cute and commenting on them, I can sort of understand. The bad thing is I think this contributes to the overall problem which leads to what I’m about to talk about. Social media validation. Girls seek attention and validation way more than guys do. I dunno if that’s how girls are hardwired or if that’s something that stems from societal standards.

What bugs me is that girls post bullshit that they know is considered cute by other girls, and then other girls comment telling them that it’s cute, and then they lavish in this attention of how cute their relationship is. Meanwhile, guys don’t think a damn thing about it. I tell you this, I’m way more feminine than most guys I know and I find a shitload of things cute, and I’ve never once in my life thought ANY couple was cute. Ask any guy you know. Ask your boyfriend. Ask them if they have ever given a damn about the cuteness of any relationship. *SPOILERS* The answer is no.

What is a cute relationship, really? A cute relationship is a romanticized version of relationships that has been indoctrinated into girls through stories, TV shows, and movies. People find some celebrity couples cute because they picture these two people’s character traits and fabricate a connection. If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you should know that the personal interactions are nothing like how you both behave externally.

The bad part is, with the advent of social media, everyone loves to point out when something falls under this romanticized version of relationships. You know what couples did before social media? The same stuff they do now, only no one said a damn thing about it.

Now guys who are reading this are thinking “yea dude, I agree”. Girls who are reading this are thinking “why are you so critical? why are you being an asshole and attacking me for thinking relationships are cute?”

Because us guys are in relationships WITH you girls. We’re in the pictures WITH you girls that your friends find so adorable and they can’t help but tell us how good we look together and how we’re the cutest ever. And guess what?


I don’t need you to tell you that my relationship is cute, because it has no effect on my relationship. It ain’t an outfit for me to wear. It’s not like I flaunt my relationship because it’s totally in season. I see couples being told how cute they are all the time and guess what? Plenty of them end up breaking up after a few months. Why is that? Oh right, because cuteness has nothing to do with a frickin relationship. Cute don’t pay the bills. Cute don’t make you faithful. Cute don’t make you talk through problems and understand each others’ perspectives. In essence, cute don’t do a goddamn thing.

So not only did no one ask for your validation, your validation is worthless because the word cute is so cheapened. The word cute is as terrible as the word nice in that it can be used to say something and at the same time mean nothing.

But it’s a neverending chain after all. Both guys and girls know what a “cute couple” looks like and plenty of them don’t hesitate to flaunt their Facebook love messages to each other or their posed photos. Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t send each other love messages or take pictures together. If you’re in crazy, stupid love and you have this overwhelming urge to take pictures together, it’s your relationship! You can do that!

I just posted this entry so that from now on every time you post one of these you realize right away the non-meaningful comments that will come and on the flip side, from now on every time you post one of these non-meaningful comments you will think about how your validation is uncalled for and detrimental to society.

The interesting thing is, in 10 years, none of our relationships will be cute anymore but in 60 years when we’re old grandparents, if we’re still in a relationship, we can be considered cute again. Though, it will most likely be our grandkids and kids commenting about how we’re a cute couple because the truth is most of our friends will be divorced, widowed, or dead. Take that depressing thought and simmer on that.

TL;DR: If you tell a couple they’re cute, I bite my thumb at you.

One Comment

  1. not tim
    May 10, 2013

    dude I think David and Lisa are super cute.

    double date sometime??

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