Sharing shower secrets

The weather’s been getting colder and I’ve realized one of the things I hate the most in this world is cold showers. When I own a mansion, the water’s only gonna go from warm to hot.

When I realize that water is gonna get cold before I finish showering because the knob is already turned close to the max and the water’s only warm, I act pretty stupidly. Rather than just turn it to the max and shower as fast as I can, I “ration” it.

Number one rule of survival in the wilderness: Don’t ration water. Drink it all. You’re gonna lose water at the same rate regardless so it’s better to not suffer the effects of dehydration. If I were smart, I wouldn’t slowly move the dial up to maintain the warm water until I reach the end where it starts getting cold. But I’m not smart. I’m an idiot. So I shower in a constant lukewarm water and then it gets cold when I hit the max and when I get out I hate myself and I hate the world.

Other things about my showering habits:

1. I hate when people sharing your bathroom leave their hair in the hair-catch. The hair-catch isn’t there so you can count how many strands you lost. It’s there so you can dump your loose hair into the garbage.
2. I like listening to music while showering.
3. The shower is one of my favorite places to have relations with a female, except when the water gets cold, in which case I then hate myself and the world. Though it’s far easier to warm back up in this case once you move to a different room.
4. I’ve never done 2 and 3 at the same time, but I bet that’s pretty great.
5. My remodeled bathroom looks pretty amazing. My cousin said it’d be easier to score in there than in my green bedroom. This has yet to be proven or disproven.
6. You just read an entry about my shower habits. How bored are you? Can’t be more bored than me since I wrote the damn thing. How about I show you my bathroom and get a definitive answer for 5?

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